Managing Conflict Between Employees

Conflict Between Employees

A conflicting disagreement between employees can be one of the more difficult and frustrating situations a new manager can face. When people get stuck in their myopic view, it is the manager's job to help them see other viewpoints and find a compromise.

In this post, I would like to examine what is at the root of the most conflict between employees. Then I would like to discuss ways that managers and supervisors can resolve these disagreements to get to a resolution that leads to win/win outcomes.

Causes of Conflict Between Employees

We could make a list that would go on for pages as to the many reasons employees disagree. Sometimes it’s a difference of opinion, feelings of resentment, or personality conflicts.

Regardless, it is essential to recognize that at the root of all conflict is a sense of feeling threatened by one or both parties to the conflict.

Whether a difference of opinion or personality issues the real reason for conflict is the threat the other person represents. One or both people feel that the other person represents an obstacle to their profession or personal well-being.

Even though the reasons why the person feels threatened may seem non-sensical or unreasonable, it doesn’t appear so to the person in the situation. To them, the threat is genuine and reasonable.

Another thing we must be cognizant of is that people often do bad things for the right reasons. It is the person's perspective that determines in their minds whether their actions are justifiable. Without understanding their rationale, it can be difficult to see the rightness of their activity.

Seek First to Understand

When there is a conflict between employees, it is essential to understand the perspectives of the people involved. The notion of seeking first to understand then to be understood comes from the classic time-management book by Stephen Covey - Seven Habits of Highly Successful People (Habit 5). As Dr. Covey observed, “The key is to seek the welfare of the individual genuinely, to listen with empathy, to let the person get to the problem and the solution at their own pace.”

The key is to listen to the other people involved to understand what they perceive to be the problem. Do not act on your perceptions and judgments. Go to the source of the issue and let them come up with the solution to the problem.

Get People Talking

Understanding perceived obstacles can help to begin a dialogue between the disputing parties. Engaging people in conversation helps overcome misunderstandings.

Make sure that you take them to a neutral location where both people feel safe and able to express their concerns.

Set up some ground rules. These should include listening to the other person's point of view, being respectful, and a willingness to compromise to reach a win/win solution.

Break the ice by getting both people talking about their concerns and why they feel threatened. It is hard to hate somebody that you know well. You need to get them talking to each other not talking past each other. Guide them to recognize and empathize with the other person's concerns.

Get People Out of Their Comfort Zones

Remember, people of creatures of habit. Because of this we all put blinders on and get comfortable with our own opinions and perspectives. To overcome conflict, we need to get people out of their comfort zones and challenge them to consider new aspects.
We do this by listening emphatically, creating a safe environment to communicate, and encouraging those involved in the conversation.

Once people realize that it is safe to get out of their comfort zone, they will start to open. Don’t rush it though. Give time for people to slowly warm up to new ideas and get comfortable with new ways of looking at a problem.

Conclusion

The conflict between employees is a product of people feeling threatened. As a result, they become defensive and pull back to dig even deeper into their preconceptions and prejudices.

The job of the manager is to create an environment that will get people to put down their guard long enough to consider the other person's point of view. To accomplish this, the manager must demonstrate empathy for the people involved.

Additionally, the manager must create a safe environment where both parties feel comfortable sharing their concerns and have time to process the interests of the other person.

The most prominent mistake is trying to assert your own will on others and jump to conclusions. Not only does this not resolve the conflict long-term but it also damages the relationship of the manager with his/her team.

Take the time to understand the concerns of others and their reasons for feeling as they do, then create an environment where others feel safe and appreciated.